Let No Man Separate

Twenty five years ago today I was home from Alabama for the holidays. Our family was getting ready for a holiday party and everyone had their assignment to get the house ready for the party. I was dusting.  John and I had been dating for a year.  

If there is love at first sight ours was pretty close to that.  He would leave work in Huntsville and make the drive to Tuscaloosa just to have dinner with me. Drive home and sleep for a few hours before going to work again.  He did that for months before deciding maybe he should get his Masters :) 

The picture above is a gift that began about two weeks after our first date. He gave me the bracelet with the first slide being my birth stone.  He continued to fill it for each holiday of our first year together. (He comes across as not very romantic - but don’t let that fool you!) As I look at it today I love it even more.  

Back to December 23, John came to our house to help get ready.  Around 8:00 he asked if I wanted to go get some frozen yogurt. As we drove into town, he said he wanted to run by his house. His family had a tradition of letting you pick a gift to open on the 23rd.  

So, he handed me a little gift to open. As I opened it I realized it was a beautiful little box. Inside the box was the prettiest ring I had ever seen.  He then told me about an old couple who started their life with an empty box and as they lived life together they filled up their box with memories. Memories that money can’t buy and no one could ever take away.  He asked if my first memory for the box could be me saying “YES” to be his wife.  

Well- that didn’t take much thinking and I gladly agreed to be his wife.  

Twenty five years ago I can assure you I had no idea what it meant to be a wife.  I could barely appreciate much past the gorgeous white dress I had dreamt of. 

But, looking back here are things I have learned:

1. A marriage is a picture of grace. Two sinners. Who learn to forgive as they remember their own sin is great.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

Romans 3:23 ESV

2. A marriage is a picture of love. He gives us the recipe for a patient and kind love. Some days it isn’t easy to see, or even feel, but it is there.  

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant”

1 Corinthians 13:4

3. A marriage is most happy when you approach it selflessly. This one took me years to grasp. But, when I realized my marriage would be at its best when I thought more about him (and Him) than I thought about me, the Lord blessed us. 

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:24 ESV

4. A marriage is to be guarded.  The devil loves to destroy a Christian marriage. He loves to find ways to destroy our bond.  I pray daily for the Lord to protect and keep our family. This verse ended our wedding and it is always meaningful to me when I hear it.

“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."”

Matthew 19:6 ESV

So, today I celebrate the memory box that was opened twenty five years ago.  The good times and the not so good times that have filled that box. That young boy and young girl who committed their marriage to the Lord. I am thankful for how we’ve grown and thankful that the Lord has been with us each of those days.

“In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Proverbs 3:6 ESV

Comfort in Suffering

“who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

2 Corinthians 1:4 NIV

I recently had a big prayer request. Not anything regarding health- just a request that could really give our family a boost.  I was excited. They were excited. I engaged some of the most powerful prayer warriors I know! We weren’t leaving anything to chance. We had an army praying about this request.  

I did my part. I was prepared. I was educated. I was in my new dress (those who know me know that was a MUST). People from New York to Orlando were praying.  

Then we waited. We continued to pray. Some times, I will admit, I wasn’t sure how to pray.  It would’ve been easy to say “PLEASE!!” But, I landed on “Lord, if it be your will -  let this be.” My husband would include it in each of his prayers. My little girl would include it in each of her prayers. On an even more precious note, I “snuck” a peak (she knew I was doing it) in her prayer journal from camp and it had this same prayer over and over again for her mom.  How precious.

Friends would call and text and alert me that they were still praying. Love that!!! Love being prayed for! 

You know what’s coming.....The request was denied. I can’t even describe my feelings when I found out. I seriously felt the earth move under my feet. I shook my head. How could this be? We had an army praying. We were consistent, persistent, and honest in our pleas. 

The Lord did answer - but with a resounding , “No”. 

To explain my devastation is difficult. I said all the right things, “It wasn’t His will.”, “He has a better plan.” Etc..... But, on the inside all I could think was , “WHY?!?” I was angry. I was hurt. I was alittle embarrassed to have to tell the army of prayer people that I had the answer. I was shaken about the future. You name it - I felt it. 

Sweet MP reassured me ,”Mom, something better is going to happen.” Sweet girl. And as I listened to her - knowing she was right - I still wasn’t there.  I wasn’t ready to let this go. I wasn’t ready to put on my happy pants. 

The next day, I began returning calls to the army. Then friend after friend cried with me and comforted me. What I realized was how quickly I may have said the same thing, “God has something better.” “Another door or window will open.” You’ve heard them.  How quickly I, knowing this to be true, would offer that as comfort. I now realize it may be even more powerful, as a Christian and a friend, just to hurt with them. Don’t rush them into that sunny space. It is true - and thank the Lord for that!! But, when you are hurting, it may feel even better to just take a moment and hurt with them. I know that I will be more thoughtful about my response. All come out of love and I am so grateful for any and all who pray with me. May my response allow them to hurt when they need to hurt and continue to remind them of the truth of His promise to use it all for His good. 

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”

Psalm 119:50  NIV

Lord,

I still believe Your promises. I praise You for my many blessings. I am so thankful that I can come to You honestly and bear my hurt in this and all my requests.  Continue to heal my heart and use this for Your glory.  May my response to others who hurt be changed with compassion and be slower to rush them to “move on”. 

Amen

Fruit in High School?

August was about preparing for High School.  Fun times shopping and scary times when she walked out of the dressing room at Altar’d State and I thought...Oh My!...you look old. No more “No bow no go!” In the mornings. (While I am alittle excited that she will be wearing a bow to cheer!!!) Her wings spread a little wider this summer as she went places without us and made decisions on her own.  But, this mom and dad also loved that you wanted to stay home tonight and the impromptu dance party at midnight. I love those moments.

High School is awesome. High School is scary. High School is stressful. High School is FUN! These years will continue to prepare your heart and mind for the time when Your wings will spread even further for college. 

You must remember that your faith is young, but even in High School, you must display the fruits of the spirit. There are people around you who may not know what it looks like to be a Christian. What if they see you and think that’s what it looks like? You will make mistakes - I do every single day. 

 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:22-23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

1) Love -  Love your friends and watch for those that need a kind word. Your shyness doesn’t excuse you from sharing the love of the Lord.

2) Joy - You should exhibit joy regardless of your circumstance. A good grade or a bad grade - a win or a failure - a circumstance or situation can’t steal your joy. 

3) Peace - Peace at High School can come in many forms. Being prepared for the test. Being well rested. Being organized. Being a good friend. 

4) Patience - Be patient with yourself. Be patient with others. Be patient with me and your dad. This is unchartered water for all of us and we will all make mistakes. 

5) Kindness - oh sweet kindness. It goes so far! It takes so little. You have a precious precious heart but don’t keep it hidden. Some of those moments where you have shown kindness are those when I truly see your love of Jesus. 

6) Gentleness - I will throw in another verse here because it is that important... “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Be slow to speak. Take a moment and make sure your words are true and loving. Gentle with your actions and your words will limit regrets. 

7) Self-Control - To me this one may be the scariest. As you grow older, the consequences of your decisions are even greater. You will have to fight the flesh and continue to commit yourself to the Lord. You are entering a time where “life long decisions” take place. Be thoughtful about the impact of your decisions...who you ride with, who you surround yourself with...it matters. I am just a text away and you can ALWAYS blame me if you need an out!!! 

Lord,

Please cover the students going to school and the teachers and staff who will guide them.  Please protect them and surround them with those that would encourage their walk with You.  We know Satan will be there lurking. Give them confidence in their walk. May they magnify the fruits of the spirit and bring others to know You. 

Amen

The Devil in Disguise

I am so blessed to live close to a beautiful river. Not only do I live close to a river, but our city has done a wonderful job making a walking trail with views of the river.  It winds around and you can walk, run or bike along the beautiful path.  There is just one problem...in the hot Alabama summer there can be snakes :( YIKES! Nothing like a long slithery friend blocking your path to get that heart rate pumping!

While walking recently we came across this guy.  He was laid out blocking the path. You look around and you see beauty everywhere - then there is this snake.  Then, he slithers off, into the brush. Where he can hide.  Into the brush. Where he can disguise himself.  Into the brush.  Only to come out later and block someone else's path.

I thought about the irony of this creature blocking our path.  This cursed creature. Blocking our path. How perfectly it ties back to our walk with Christ.

We are walking along - enjoying the beauty - enjoying the bounty of His blessings - feeling strong - feeling tough - most likely praising along the way.  Then we make a turn and there he is - across our path.  Our first reaction is fear - but he isn't hissing at us - he is just there - then he begins to slither off - he wants you to follow.  It can be quite alluring - he promises comfort - no rocks in your shoes where he is taking you.  He promises you will be hidden - look at all the camouflage around - no one will know.  He promises you - a better path. Look at how much brush there is to hide his actions.  Satan causes us to hide - just as in the original sin.

How powerful his promises can sound - especially when you are feeling weak or down - shoot - he knows where to attack us.  His lies are so tempting.  So, when he crawls out and blocks your path, what is our response?

1) Recognize him - Acts 26:18 "Open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to lift and from the power of Satan to God." As Christians we must be able to recognize that he is watching for ways to cause us to drift off the path. Whether it is in your marriage, your finances, your family - where is he lurking? Not sure if it is the Lord prompting you or Satan? The Lord does not tempt you to do things that will hurt you.  “Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one.”
‭‭James‬ ‭1:13

2) Rebuke him - Mark 8:33 "Get behind me Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." When I'm alone I find myself actually rebuking him out loud. I have yelled at him to get out of my home. I've yelled at him to get out of my car! You will appreciate that folks might just think I'm crazy if I did that in public :)



3) Refuse him - 1 Peter 5:8-9 "Be sober minded. Be watchful.  Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.  Resist him, firm in your faith..." The devil's  way devours you.  It looks enticing. It looks comfortable. But, when you get there - you are in a dark place. It is hard to find your way. So our best chance is to refuse to follow his path. Step over him and keep on the beautiful path. When we refuse to follow him we are allowed to enjoy the beautiful gifts around us.

Lord,
I praise You for Your beautiful creation that we get to enjoy.  How blessed we are to be able to walk along the riverside and see so many aspects of your creation.  When the path is clear - it is easy to let your guard down and forget that the devil is lurking. He is ready to block the path and take us off of the path You intended.  Thank You for providing instructions on how to fight against the attack.  Keep our guard up and ready with Your word to stay true to You.
Amen

A Joyous June

June’s memory was filled with surprises and fun. June’s adventure was not revealed to MP until her birthday. Years ago, John and I made a list of things that we wanted to do with Mary-Peyton in those precious first 18 summers. 

Our family loves tennis. We love to play tennis and we love to watch tennis. So, on the list was to go to the four grand slam tournaments around the world. We’ve made nine record trips to NYC for the US Open, made a fabulous trip to Wimbledon with our friends, and next on the list was the French Open.  

We knew this was the year to bring that promise to life. Planning trips gives me such joy that I started nine months earlier mapping out a dream itinerary. 

While MP didn’t know where June would take us, we made a deal to give up a couple of things to save money for a great surprise. 

We would travel by plane, EuroStar high speed train, bus, subway, taxi and walk about 56 miles on this trip.

We would overlook the Eiffel Tower in Paris and have a beautiful townhome in London.

Little did we know that even better surprises were in store.  

Surprise #1: We knew we would see both Ladies semifinal matches - but we got a wonderful email the day before saying because of weather problems earlier in the week we would also see Rafa Nadal play his semi final match!!!! We had always wanted to see him play and to see him play on his favorite surface and one that he dominates in was truly a great experience.

While I know enough French to get by(that's probably not true - I know enough to get directions and be polite) - we found communicating in France to be slightly challenging. We are still laughing about John, when he realized we had no idea what they were saying, said “Uh oh! What now?” Siri did a great job translating some for us!

After exploring Paris alittle, we would take the EuroStar to London. Our favorite place on earth. Our sweet little townhouse style place was perfectly located and we quickly became masters of the underground. 

Surprise #2: When we woke up and turned on the TV we saw that the royal family was having a parade and would be on the balcony of Buckingham Palace for the Air Force air display. Well, we dressed quickly and headed over. I couldn’t believe how close we could get and how wonderful it was to see them in person. Yes, MP and I did shed a tear when we saw them.

Surprise #3: I include this surprise only for comic relief. We had just left Buckingham Palace to do some shopping. There was a protest on the other side of the road. The shop keeper said that is normal and not to be alarmed.  So, we continued shopping. Walking down the street we began to hear laughs and gasps only to turn around and see 200+ “ladies and gentlemen” riding bicycles in the nude.  Yep, there was nothing pretty about it. It was shocking and awkward and trying to save my innocent daughter’s eyes at that point became our mission. Wow. 

We would tour the beautiful Cotswolds next and enjoyed learning the history of the gorgeous buildings. We met neat people along the way and even had lunch next to a couple from Huntsville. He had a Roll Tide shirt on! Even across the pond 😂

We ended by retracing the steps of the recent Royal Wedding. Walking the aisle at St. George’s Chapel was surreal. Queen Mary’s Dollhouse at Windsor is something to behold.

It was a magical trip. Worth skipping our favorite things for six months to save. It was keeping a promise. It was about memories for the three of us. It was creating funny inside jokes that our family will share forever. As a parent there are many promises that I haven’t been able to keep. For whatever reason....some I should never have made, some have changed with age or circumstance...but, I am so thankful that we kept this promise. Thank you to those that prayed with us before, during and after this trip. Our travels, while tiring, went seamlessly and without trouble. Our year of memories is half way over now and I am looking forward to what fun lies ahead. But, oh how thankful we are for the new memories we’ve made!
Lord,
We thank you for your blessings over our trip. We thank You for allowing our family to devote this time to making memories that will last a lifetime.  When our hearts are weary - thank You for reminding us of our many blessings.  May the joy of our trip only be overshadowed by our joy for You.
Amen
"Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name, make known among the nations what he has done." Psalm 105:1

Where is Your Hope

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in him, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13 

It was early morning September 1^st - now ten years ago. The phone rang. It was my dad. In between the tears he said ,”Mom’s gone.” My brain didn’t comprehend his comment - wait, she is in remission, I just spoke to her yesterday, she wanted some dangly earrings! We bought them! She hasn’t even seen them yet. How can she be gone? 

Mom had been diagnosed with cancer about three years before. She fought so courageously. She clung to her faith. She knew should this be the end she would meet Jesus. We had many talks about my fear of losing her. I was 36 - I had a 3 month old baby - I needed my mom!!! Her reassurance was always that while she wanted to be with us - she was secure in her eternity and we should take comfort in that. We also knew that our immediate family were Christians and that even death is not a goodbye but a brief separation until we are reunited in heaven. 

As we were preparing for the funeral I kept trying on different dresses in my closet. Why are none of these fitting? That’s strange. I assumed it was just from stress eating from the past couple of weeks.  

We continued the following days in a fog grieving and honoring the memory of our precious mother. She blessed us beyond measure. Her life was a testimony that she lived in public and private. She loved the Lord - oh did she! Her Bible was well worn and I loved seeing her constantly reading it ever since I was a little girl. That, in itself, helped fuel a love for Jesus and the Bible in her children. Her loss would leave a Jesus size hole. 

Not even a week had passed when I realized my dresses not fitting and my loss of energy may be for another reason....yes....positive...I was pregnant. Wow. That’s a lot to take in. I was still so deep in my grief that smiling seemed wrong. But, oh how excited we were for this baby. We had been praying for her and this would complete our little “dream” family! Propst party of 4! 

The Doctor would confirm that we were already three months along. Amazing! We both felt as if the Lord had sent this child to help us heal from the grief of my mom. We had a renewed hope.  This child came from heaven as my mom went to heaven.  We praised Him for this gift and the timing!  

We set another Doctor’s appointment for a few weeks. They did the ultrasound measuring how much she had grown since the last visit. Then we would hear the heartbeat again. My favorite part.  

The ultrasound tech kept moving the tool around. Searching. Searching. My husband sat quietly beside me. She stepped out to get the Doctor. I wasn’t sure what was happening - but assumed that was normal. 

The Doctor came in and after a few moments of searching she confirmed. No heartbeat. That little baby we had prayed for would not live. Her little heart had stopped.  

Three days later I was in the hospital saying goodbye to the baby we would not see again until heaven.  

Wait. Wasn’t this a gift from God? We were sure He had sent her to help our grief! What was this?! She had given us hope to fill our grief stricken hearts. We were already at rock bottom. Now this? All within four weeks?! 

The days and months ahead I poured myself into my Bible - looking for something that would explain how this could happen. Then it happened. Just as if Jesus had said it out loud to me. The baby was not your hope. I AM. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 NET

Oh....I knew that. But, in my grief I saw this gift as my hope. Then the gift was taken away. For people who don’t know Jesus that would be the end. Just loss. But, we know that we can’t place our hope in things of this world. Even if we feel it is from God. Our hope has to remain IN GOD.

The Lord has continued to use our loss to comfort others. He has used it to refine our walk with Him. He has used it to open doors for us to share about the love and hope we have in Jesus and while I don’t know numbers - I pray that others have come to know Him because of our story.  

Lord,
Thank you for giving me the gift of my mom. I look forward to our reunion in Your presence. Thank You for speaking to me that day to remind me that no gift replaces the hope that You provide. Continue to use our story to glorify Your name and to bring others to You. 
Amen

Let No One Separate

The beautiful wedding 4/22/1995

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.””

Mark 10:9 NIV

April is a month of celebration. April begins with a celebration of our daughter. It concludes with a celebration of our wedding anniversary. These two events have improved, strengthened and tested my walk with Christ more than any other.

This year marks our 23rd wedding anniversary. We had a beautiful double wedding with my twin sister. It was the perfect day! But, a beautiful wedding doesn’t always mean a beautiful marriage. 

Oh when I think back on our first few years I actually never envisioned a 23rd Anniversary. I wanted to admit defeat. I wanted to call it quits. I wanted a do over. 

But, that wasn’t His plan. His plan was for both of us to admit our own shortcomings. His plan was for us to realize that we were focused on each other and not on our Savior. I would sit and think, “There is no saving us. I can’t imagine how good can come from this marriage.” My Savior said, “My power is made perfect in your weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9.

Two believers, even with the best intentions, can’t fix what was meant to be turned over to Him. 

I am so very thankful that we turned our marriage over to the Lord. Even now, I am reminded when we go thru trials that most come from my selfishness, my fear, my temptation from the world. 

So, we celebrate this year. A marriage with normal issues and problems - but a marriage that works to put God first. The devil hates that - so we pray daily for our union.  We can’t relax. We must work and pray and keep the Lord held high in our home. 

We also celebrate the gift of parenthood. 

Mary-Peyton - Age 4
One of my favorite pictures! Look at those little crossed feet and sweet little hands!

There are no words to describe the depth of my prayers since becoming a parent. Being a parent seems to have amplified my strengths and weaknesses....My fears are greater for her, my hurt seems greater for her, and my joy when she has joy is multiplied!! I am grateful for the opportunity to show her Jesus. I am prayerful that she will see the Savior in us.  

So, for us, April has brought showers of blessings and many reminders about the seasons in our life being submitted to Him. 

Mary-Peyton’s month started with a celebration for her and we end it celebrating 23 years of marriage with a fun trip! Her year of special moments continues! 

Lord,

I praise You for my marriage. While we celebrate our 23rd year I plead for You to guard it and continue to point us to You. I praise You for the gift of parenthood. With the joy and pain that comes with it. I know, in a way, it mirrors Your joy and pain for Your children. Lead us all to a stronger relationship with You. Amen

MP and a couple of her friends at her birthday celebration!

Faith in what we cannot See

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:1, 3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I lost a precious friend in the fall.  Her life produced so much beauty and her loss is felt by so many.  

My dear friend Laura sent me this picture around that time and thought this was a wonderful picture of Tina’s life and our hope in things we can’t see.

Laura had a beautiful rose bush by her front door. For years it provided beautiful blooms overflowing. In fact, it became so overflowing with blooms that it began to block their front walkway.  

She decided it was time to cut it down and start over.  She asked her husband to cut it down. He did just that and she found another plant that she would put in its place when the season changed.  

As she prepared to plant the new bush - what she found warmed her heart. The leftover roots had produced a beautiful rose bush. It was far more beautiful than the plant she had purchased. In the picture above the plant on the left is the “surprise plant”. The one on the right is what she purchased. Oh what a difference when we allow the Lord’s handiwork to take place. 

The Lord is working even when we can’t see it.  He has promised that He will use all things for good.  He did not promise we would always know and understand.

My friend’s life was beautiful. Her smile - beautiful. Her heart - beautiful. Her love of the Lord - even more beautiful. Her love of her family and friends - beautiful. 

Even though she is in her Heavenly Home - He is weaving a beautiful story. We may see glimpses of this beauty and some won’t be revealed until we get to Heaven.  But, He is not absent and He is working behind the scenes on a story more beautiful than we can imagine. 

Lord,

Thank You for Tina. What a precious child of Yours she was! Thank You for Laura and how she saw Your beauty and it reminded her of my other sweet friend.  Thank You for producing beauty even when we can’t see it. I pray that if it be in Your plan that some of that beauty be revealed to those who ache with her loss. I know her wish would be that hearts would be opened to You and that produces the most beautiful outcome.  

Amen

This post is dedicated to Tina Dupree Chisolm and Laura Owens.

10 Reasons Why Your iPhone makes a Bad Friend

To my middle school daughter - why your iPhone makes a bad friend...

In today’s age it is rare to catch adults or kids without their phone.  The way teens are communicating is via text, Snapchat, insta (is that still cool?), etc... 

I recently asked my daughter to Call a friend.  Her face snarled up like I had asked her to run through the street naked. Her reply, “Mom, no one calls people.” So, she texted back and forth with this friend.  

I sat and thought - her phone is her friend - then I thought about reasons why that phone makes a bad bad friend.

What is a friend? A friend is there for you, a friend supports, encourages, loves, is patient.  

I thought about the love verse - we use it all the time for marriages a but it can equally apply to those friends we chose to be a part of our lives.  

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

1) Your phone is not patient - it doesn’t respect your time when you need to be resting or studying or learning. It buzzes and lights up and wants to be your #1 priority. You must hold yourself accountable to put a limit on that device.  

2) Your phone is not kind - it offers you views of things that you don’t need to see. A simple “click” can allow images to enter your head in a moment and begin to alter your views.  Don’t allow a piece of electronics to change you. There can be good and bad come from a phone - but know that the devil can use this little device to alter your life. 

3) It creates envy - scrolling thru facebook or insta or snap chat - thoughts come in - I wish I looked like that, I wish I had those friends, I wish that was my car, and it goes on and on.  Remind yourself that no one puts their worst picture on social media. This is not the real world. 

4) Your phone loves to boast and be proud - that photo of friends or boyfriends or families is all you see. It is all smiles, it is a perfect world - but, that’s all your phone wants you to see. It isn’t real. It is what that person and your phone wants you to see.  Don’t be drawn into that fallacy. 

5) Your phone can be used to dishonor others and ....

Once it is out there - it doesn’t go away. Your phone may give you courage that you would never have if you had to say it to someone’s face. Guard your comments as if you had to say it to that person out loud. Be a friend to others on social media. 

6) Your phone is easily angered. As much as you try to include others - a phone can be used as a weapon. It creates a myth. It hurts. What is your motive for a post? Is it to fill a void you have - to let people know you have cute friends? To let people know how fun you are? Your posts need to be matched against your motive and if it is out of some insecurity - save the post. It won’t fill that void and will only make the void larger.  

7) Your phone keeps every record of wrongs - as much as you would like to delete it - you may even think it is gone - but once it is in cyber world - it can always come back. Tread lightly and make sure you would be proud of those posts if they came back in the future.

8) Your phone may rejoice in evil. It may be more fun to count likes on instagram and compare that to a person’s worth. Don’t be caught in that trap. Your most valuable friends may have the least likes - because their value is not based on social media - but in one on one interactions with people.  

9) Your phone makes it hard to know the truth.  You trust what you read and see.  But, just know that you should question what you see. Test it against the truth you know.  

10) Your phone does not always protect you - in fact, while there are good things your phone can do, it is much easier for you not to be protected - your location, your appearance, your friends - all make you open to bad consequences if you are not careful.

In all, your phone makes a bad friend. While I don’t see a day we can revert back to the days before they existed, I want to continually remind you of the place a phone should have in your life. It is great to make a Call! Imagine that! It is helpful when we need a quick message! But, it will not be our life. We want friends who enjoy talking! We want friends who don’t need a phone to pass the time. More than that - I want you to be that friend. Be the kind of friend who appreciates someone enough to put down your phone! There are fun things happening out there! Don’t miss the view by looking down!!!