Trust

Trust

It has always been okay. Mammograms - okay. Female tests - okay. For thirty years I've always gotten the phone message - everything looks good. Until......I got a different call. Countless prayer warriors praying over me. But, the last 5 days have been the scariest of my life. Weeks ago, I asked someone to pray with me that whatever I faced I would have the strength and faith to believe that the Lord will be glorified through whatever the test results show. That is much easier when the news is good. Trust

“What time I am afraid, I will put my trust in thee.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭56:3‬ ‭ASV‬‬

I've spent three days reeling my mind back in. Don't let your imagination take over. Focus on how you feel today. The Lord is in control. Watching my sweet husband sit and a random tear fall.  Wishing he would stop googling all of my crazy symptoms.  Wearing a somewhat false smile when talking. Maybe they won't sense the enormous weight I'm feeling.  Act normal. Don't fall apart in front of MP. I don't want to distract her from her school work. There are too many unknowns right now. Trust

“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.””
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I always considered myself to be healthy. I run or play tennis every day! My treadmill or bike are not just used as extra clothes hangers.  I'm 44! I just had a birthday! I have a wonderful job, a precious family, a precious school, sweet friends, a glorious church, ......I've lost my mom, my in-laws, our second child. Trust

“In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭25:1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

 While we are waiting for more tests we trust in His plan for my life. We thank also the many people praying as we await a diagnosis. The prayers have given us comfort and encouragement! Our faith rests in knowing that God is on His throne. May He be glorified through this and all aspects of our life.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matt 6:25-27

A Prayer that Makes Him Smile

I've never craved a study in 1 Kings. It just has never been on my list of one of those books you go to for inspiration, encouragement or guidance! But, The Lord works in mysterious ways and used this book in my life this week.  I am thankful that He knew I needed to be in 1 Kings even when I didn't!

Let me back up...so, our class just began an in depth study in 1 Kings.  We are very early in the book. So, as we were going to be in the car for awhile yesterday I brought along my book and Bible and John and I were going to discuss our chapter that we read for homework.  Let me just tell you, Chapter 1 and 2 don't leave you with a warm and fuzzy feeling.  It starts with an old and cold King (literally! Ha!) and by the end of Chapter 2 we have a new king and a series of folks dead. King Solomon has gone on a tear clearing the kingdom of anyone who might cause a threat.  (Bible scholars everywhere are rolling over in their graves at my two sentence synopsis!)

It, in fact, left me with a not so encouraged feeling! What can I learn from this! I kept reading into Chapter 3 in hopes of a glimpse of encouragement. I, like others, struggle from time to time with prayer. Not saying them, but saying them without selfishness or ambition.  Sometimes, my prayer might sound like this...

      Lord, shower my family with blessings. Keep them all healthy and free from hard. Don't let anything bad happen to them. Amen

No doubt something like that prayer has been prayer over and over again. Now, of course, I added "If it be your will!" That makes it unselfish doesn't it!

1 Kings 3 gives us a model for a prayer request that made God smile. That gives me chill bumps! A prayer that makes God smile!

"The Lord was pleased that Solomon made this request." 1 Kings 3:10

It caused me to pause and reflect on recent prayer requests - as I mutter them - have they caused God to smile?  Sometimes -yes, sometimes - no!
Solomon's request for wisdom came from an unselfish place. A place that could be used to expand the  kingdom (not Solomon's kingdom, but the Heavenly Kingdom!) The Lord was pleased and gave that plus much more.  The story goes on to show Solomon demonstrating his God given wisdom and what an impact it had on his kingdom. They knew this was from Heaven.

About four hours after we returned home, I received an urgent text from a friend. She needed guidance on an issue that she is facing. A scary position and one that I surely don't have the answer. But, I was able to point her to that passage. Pray not for our will, not for what we want, but that we would make Him smile with our request for guidance.

Lord,
I thank you for prompting me to continue reading. I thank you for showing a prayer that made You smile. I thank you for the reminder of the impact we can have on a watching world when we seek Your guidance and live in faith.  I am humbled by the many prayers that I have said from a selfish place. Thank you for Your continued love and recognition that I am a work in progress. Amen

The Master Gardener

A beautiful town in Austria

The past few weeks have been rough! My heart has been troubled, health issues, stress from all directions adding up to a overwhelming feeling of helplessness.  If I went into great detail I think most would agree - it is one of those seasons that we have faced and will likely face again.  Our life goes through changes and stress regardless of age, wealth or commitment to Christ. 

I find myself almost sensing the Lord pruning my life.  Refinement is not fun.  Refinement takes me out of my comfort zone. Refinement requires me to open my heart - to make an honest assessment of where my values are placed.  It hurts!

I had things like I liked them (notice the I)! I like order! I like neat! I've made a list! I have a plan! (could I say I anymore?!) All the while, the Lord showing me..."You haven't given me This Part, You haven't given me That part...Your list is nice - but my plan is better." These refinements are not part of my plan!

When I am overwhelmed my comfort comes in repeating some of my favorite verses that provide comfort and reminders of His promises to me.  To remind me that He is in control even when my list is nothing more than scratch paper. 

I curled up on the sofa with MP and said, "I am the vine. You are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you; You will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

This verse has a special meaning for our family. As we prayed for the Lord to send us on a mission trip, He made a way for us to visit Austria.  A beautiful country surrounded by beautiful vineyards - but many lacking a knowledge of the One True Gardner.  They were so gorgeous - beautifully manicured rows of grapes.  Such care taken to protect their fruit. The gardener taking precious time to ensure the plant had the best chance to bear fruit.

Seeing this in person left a beautiful impression of how the Lord works so carefully to prune our lives.  How He works to give us the best chance to bear fruit, IF, we remain in Him.  My life is a work in progress. My job is to remain in Him and to allow the pieces that will not yield fruit to be cut away.

Lord, there is no one who knows my life better than you.  There is also no gardener capable of helping my life to bear the best fruit.  Help me to surrender my list to you. Help me to seek you for the plan.  Help me to remain in You.