Living Water

I look outside and see droopy flowers and brown crunchy leaves. Plants and trees in need of rain. As I was walking through the back yard and hearing my feet crunch the brittle leaves, I thought of one of my favorite passages...

“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭42:1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

My dad just returned from a deer hunting trip. Not one deer was seen. Green fields were brown. Deer were in search of water. I have been through seasons when I felt far away from God and His plan. But, I am thankful for His ever present Spirit that tugs at my heart and mind. Drawing me to His word. Longing to fill my heart with the much needed bread of life. 

When I get too busy for my relationship and time with the Lord, my spirit begins to feel like those leaves. Brittle and broken. Once healthy, vibrant and a picture of God's glory - when I go "it" alone - I feel the world creep in. I begin to allow selfishness, pride, fear and anger to take over my once healthy "leaf". 

But, how thankful that unlike the leaves that have fallen from the drought - never to be green again- we have a beautiful option. Return to the living water. Just as the passage says the deer pants for the water - we can return. Whether it has been one day, one week, one year, our Lord can turn that brittleness into beauty. 

The One that formed you longs for you to seek Him.  I love how as I read His word my heart is restored. His promises bring me hope. His promises bring me life. I will soak up His word. I will draw out each bit of understanding. I will guard my heart against growing bitter and brittle. 

Lord,

 May we seek to transform our hearts  and to be that picture of love that You called us to be. Continue to give me a desire to seek Your word and Your to plan for my life. Soften brittle hearts. May the only danger of fire during the drought be a fire for You. May these words be seen by someone who can be drawn closer to You and allow You to restore any brittleness that this world has caused. 

Amen

Seek First

Leaving church this Sunday we ran into one of our pastors and his wife.  We had all attended a wedding the night before and couldn't help but talk about how special it was to observe the union of two humble Christians.  I had even asked the mothers of the bride and groom what recipe they followed to raise their children.

During the wedding they had a special prayer time.  I prayed with my hand on Mary-Peyton that she might have that kind of relationship and that the Lord is working in the heart of a young man that one day will fully submit to the Lord. I also prayed that her friendships would also bring glory to God.  That the Lord would stir hearts to bring glory to Him in all things.  While I know her daddy was praying a similar prayer, we joked that his prayer added....in a very long time (for her mate!) ha!

So, back to Sunday, our pastor asked her to commit all of her relationships to Matthew 6:33.

We got in the car and she pulled up the verse...
"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matt 6:33
As a mom, I have to add in the next verse...
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matt 6:34

Yes, we've had a rough year, but the Lord's plan is at work.  Our responsibility as Christians is to seek Him first.  So, we came up with these ways we can commit our day to Him.

Seek first....when you feel alone.
Seek first...when you make a decision.
Seek first...about your friendships.
Seek first....when you are hurt.
Seek first....when you receive a blessing.
Seek first...when you have let someone down.
Seek first...when you are afraid.
Seek first...when you are anxious.
In all things....Seek first!

By seeking Him first, we commit to Him our anxiety and our fears. Middle school can be tough - but the Lord is there and His plan is at work.

Lord,
May we seek You first in each situation.  Seeking to live for Youe en when we don't understand.  We lift up the families that are struggling and ask you to encourage them to not grow weary in the day to day.  May these two words transform our day to day motions into eternal growth.  Amen

A Broken Heart

We were eating dinner when she said it. At first I tried to ignore it. Surely I had misunderstood what she said. Surely my precious child did not feel this way. I looked at John - he had heard it too. We tried to move on....but, I kept hearing it over and over again in my head.  It wasn't until the next day that I had the courage to ask her if I had heard correctly.

Last night, did you say "Your heart was broken?" She replied, "Yes, I did." "Can you tell me what you meant?" She went on to explain ,"Mom, when you get left out and ignored so many times your heart stops feeling it." 

We were driving at the time - her in the back seat and John driving. I looked at him and noticed a tear running down his face.  My head dropped. Not wanting her to know how our hearts had just broken too we changed the subject. 

This year has been one of the most challenging years of being a parent. What I wouldn't give to go back to those sweet times when I was in control. But, she is growing up and heart ache is part of our fallen world. 

We've discussed many times what we can learn from these times and the biggest lesson so far is...this is temporary.  Whether it be temporary while you are in the 7th grade or temporary until you get to high school or maybe even temporary for much longer - this is still temporary. But, some times it feels eternal. How ironic - what we need to stay focused on is the eternal and we feel pressure to focus on this temporary time.

I don't want to minimize her pain - it does hurt to be left out. It hurts her and quite frankly as a mom it can challenge my faith. But, I do not want to display a sinful response to this pain. We will not repay mean spiritedness with our own mean spirit. We will look for opportunities to see who might be true and loyal. We will do our best to be a friend. 

We've had many precious conversations about why we think God has placed us in this spot. While we may not find the answer on earth - we will seek to bring Him glory thru this trial. We will stay focused on the eternal not the temporary. We will be mindful that each of us falls short of His glory and we are no better than those who ignore us.  We have fallen short many times as friends. If our purpose is to bring Him glory - then He has placed us in this spot to do just that.  It isn't the "spot" we had asked for. We had prayed for a circle of friends who would love and support each other. We had asked to be pointed to the right places - we know He heard our prayer. Then, with faith we believe that while this does not look like the answer - it actually is. We will bring You glory where we are - even when we don't understand. Your plan is bigger than our broken heart. Your plan is better than my broken heart. (And hers). Your plan is for my good (and hers). I will trust in You.

We will put on the armor of God and stay true to who we are even when His armor may be hiding a broken heart.  We will allow Him to mend this broken heart. We will continue to seek His guidance for a circle of friends.  We know that many are struggling with this very thing right now. 

Sometimes it is just a good reminder of “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭

Lord,

Parenting is the hardest job you have give me so far. Help me to have a Christian response when my child is hurt. Help me to know what to say to get her thru these years. Be preparing the hearts of other girls who are seeking true friends. Open their hearts and eyes to those around them. Forgive us when we fail as a friend. Help us to use that to learn and grow and to exalt You even in our friendships. Urge us to continue to lay our broken hearts at Your feet and allow You to mend them. 

Amen

Fitting In

I remember where I was - Orlando around 20 years ago. I hailed a taxi to get to the airport. As I hopped in, the cab driver welcomed me and a few minutes later said, "There's something different about you? What is it?" Hmmmmmm...my heart jumped alittle....I know what is....but, do I really go there? 

Heart racing - I decided to go for it. "In one word - Jesus. That joy you see isn't because my life is perfect - far from it - but I have a hope and peace from my Lord and Savior. Do you have Jesus?" He did not. He did not accept Jesus on this cab ride and I wonder often if he has opened his heart. 

As we are struggling with raising a young lady in today's culture. I keep being reminded of this day. The countless prayers I've said praying that she would fit in, that she would be surrounded by friends, that she would participate in the "right" activities. Only to be reminded that prayer is not only dangerous - but not the desire of my heart. 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I don't want her to look like the world. I don't want her to make poor decisions to be a part of the "group".

I don't want her to be excluded or lonely - but if being excluded means she is standing up for her values - so be it. 

I want her to shine. I want her to be a walking billboard for the joy that comes from Christ. I want her to look different. I want people to see something unique in her. I want them to ask her why she smiles so much. 

I still want her to have friends and enjoy being young. But, I believe the Lord is preparing another girl's (or several girl's) heart to be that friend. Friends that can stand for Jesus. Now, more than ever, our next generation can not be sent off into this cruel world without looking different. Our world has no hope if they look just like everyone else. 

So, she may not be the most popular....she may not be the coolest...she may not be the most talkative. But, I will no longer pray that you "fit in". 

May you be loyal, may you be kind, may you listen more than you talk, may you be respectful, may you be modest, may you be generous, may you be giving, may you be joyful. And...above all...may you be a light for Jesus. May those around you know that your life is a reflection of your Lord and Savior. That it is difficult to not be a part of the crowd. It may even be lonely sometimes - but may the Lord comfort you in those times and be preparing the hearts of those around you to be bold in their faith. 

Lord,

I am burdened for what our children face today. The struggles they face are multiplied by technology and a desire to get as many "likes" as we can. Help me to be a good example for her. Help me to know when to step in and when to back off. Help us to be bold in our faith. Help us to be trustworthy, encouraging and faithful friends. Help us to know that not everyone has to be part of our inner circle - but we show love and kindness to all. Help our lives to look different than society. No matter your age that is not always easy. Thank you for the gift of being a mom. 

Amen

Girl Time

                                                         
John has been traveling for work a little recently. I hate for him to be traveling. I miss him and all the little things he does to take care of us.  I realize when he is gone how much he does that sometimes goes un noticed.

But,  I also get excited about spending some one on one time with MP.  I love being with her.  When it is the two of us, she tells me funny things that normally she wouldn't say.  We laugh, sometimes we cry, but we really get to know each other. We eat popcorn and play games and enjoy being together!

I tell her what I was like when I was her age.  (Like what a telephone looks like being plugged into the wall and what you did prior to social media!) She tells me what she is excited about. I love hearing her talk about her hopes and dreams. (How we will ride to work together one day!) We share the desires of our heart. I long to spend time with her and to get to know her even more.

Then I had that moment, as I long to spend more time with her so that I can know her better. Our Heavenly Father is longing to do the same with me.  While He knows the desires of my heart, He wants to hear from me. He wants to share. He wants me to dive deep into His word to learn lessons He has for me.  He wants every piece of me to love Him and to show it.

MP's memory verse for this week is perfect for what I want (and what God wants) for our relationship to be.

"Love The Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5

But even greater than that go to verse 7!

"Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:7

Oh, how beautiful it is to talk about how we can love The Lord in our daily life. What does it look like to Love The Lord at school? Even in middle school? You bet! You don't gossip, you look for opportunities to be a friend, you are loyal, you are encouraging, you are honest in your work.

I treasure my time with MP. I love getting to know her. I treasure my time with my Heavenly Father. I love getting to know His plan for my life. I love that He gave us these verses this week to remind us to talk about this every day when we wake up and when we lie down.

Lord,
May we continue to trace events and happenings back to Your plan for our life. Fill our child with the love and an unending desire to know Your word. Help our lives to be an example of Your love for us. Help us to see Your glory in the rain storms and in the rainbow that follows.  We want to love You with our mind and our would and our strength.
Amen

Recalculating

I had never been there before. So, as I usually do, I punched in the address for directions. I set out and with each turn felt more secure in my path. 

Then, I heard those words....recalculating...I had missed a turn.  But, now I had a new route. I thought about how comforting it is to have a pre- planned route. How good it feels to hear, "Your destination is ahead on the right."  

Sometimes I feel like I'm recalculating in my walk with Christ. Did I miss a turn? I often wish I understood the route.  We prayed this year for direction and thought we had our answer. But, it wasn't going as planned...recalculating...had we misunderstood the direction He had given us? I doubt it. I believe we misunderstood why He wanted us to be on this path. We had prayed for one reason, but I felt Him telling us - I answered your prayer, but not for the reason you prayed. There was another purpose in this path.  

Our Godly Prayer Strategy (GPS) was in full working order. We had laid out our request and placed the prayer for direction. We had waited patiently for the answer. But, still felt like we were recalculating. We expected joy - we anticipated fun - we received fear and disappointment. My first thought was to turn "this car" around! But, the more we prayed the more our minds opened and we started to be more aware of what other reasons might be for this new path.

Some journeys would be easier if I knew the outcome before we set out on the road.

It is hard when you realize the path that the GPS returns May have some bumps in the road.  

I am thankful that in most cases, I can look back on hard roads and see pieces of His glory in that path.  

We commit this journey to You. We wait anxiously for You to reveal Your plan. If You choose to open our eyes, we ask that you show us now or in future years how Your detour led to Your glory. For now, we will rejoice in our ever faithful GPS.

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭16:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

My Husband....Her Daddy...Two lucky girls

My husband....Her Daddy....

December 23, 1992 changed the direction of my life. I was wrapping gifts at Sam Frank and Moore when the door opened and a handsome young man walks in.  My mom asked me to wait on him. He wanted to buy his mom a gift for Christmas. We found the perfect things and my mom (little did I know what she was up to!), offered for us to wrap them and deliver them after work.  Giving me one more chance that day to see the handsome man.  

Our first date followed and the rest is history! A man who sought The Lord. A man who loved his family without question. A man who made me feel like I was a better person. A man who sacrificed to give me anything my heart desired. 

We've now been together for 24 years and married for 21 of those.  Little did I know that a month after we met he had bought a slide bracelet for me that would signify all of our major moments.  He gave it to me just 4 weeks after our first date and told me we would fill it up with slides to signify our journey.  (Hard to break up with him after that! Ha ha) The last slide on the bracelet was given the day Mary-Peyton was born.  A priceless gift holding precious memories.  Meant to be a daddy.

This man that I chose was meant to be a daddy. He would move heaven and earth for our child. He has played American Girl more hours than I can count. He knows the name of each one.  He cherishes bedtime stories and hearing about her day.  His heart breaks in unison with hers. Her joy is his joy. A tough man with a soft heart for this child of ours.  He is tough and I love to see how he struggles to hold her to a high standard. Yes, it would be easier to let it slide, but in the long run he was .....Meant to be a daddy.  

I love him more now than I did on that day 24 years ago and I thought that wasn't possible. But, seeing him be a daddy created a new level of love for him. He continues to sacrifice. He somehow manages the growing hormone swings at our house. He seeks to make our way easy. He is a great math helper (that may be my favorite part!) He is a horrible speller (sorry MP!). Even when he is tired he has time for her. What more could a girl ask for. Meant to be a daddy.

They laugh the same. They think the same jokes are funny.  They have identical smiles. They crack each other up and make each other crazy! He loves to "get her goat"! There is nothing he wouldn't do for this little girl.  They gang up on me and there is no hope. They laugh and love to play jokes on me.  Her first love. Meant to be a daddy.

John, words are difficult to express how lucky we are to have you as her daddy. One thing for sure...You were meant to be a daddy. 

Happy Daddy's Day 2016

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22:6‬ ‭ESV‬‬