Let No One Separate

The beautiful wedding 4/22/1995

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.””

Mark 10:9 NIV

April is a month of celebration. April begins with a celebration of our daughter. It concludes with a celebration of our wedding anniversary. These two events have improved, strengthened and tested my walk with Christ more than any other.

This year marks our 23rd wedding anniversary. We had a beautiful double wedding with my twin sister. It was the perfect day! But, a beautiful wedding doesn’t always mean a beautiful marriage. 

Oh when I think back on our first few years I actually never envisioned a 23rd Anniversary. I wanted to admit defeat. I wanted to call it quits. I wanted a do over. 

But, that wasn’t His plan. His plan was for both of us to admit our own shortcomings. His plan was for us to realize that we were focused on each other and not on our Savior. I would sit and think, “There is no saving us. I can’t imagine how good can come from this marriage.” My Savior said, “My power is made perfect in your weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9.

Two believers, even with the best intentions, can’t fix what was meant to be turned over to Him. 

I am so very thankful that we turned our marriage over to the Lord. Even now, I am reminded when we go thru trials that most come from my selfishness, my fear, my temptation from the world. 

So, we celebrate this year. A marriage with normal issues and problems - but a marriage that works to put God first. The devil hates that - so we pray daily for our union.  We can’t relax. We must work and pray and keep the Lord held high in our home. 

We also celebrate the gift of parenthood. 

Mary-Peyton - Age 4
One of my favorite pictures! Look at those little crossed feet and sweet little hands!

There are no words to describe the depth of my prayers since becoming a parent. Being a parent seems to have amplified my strengths and weaknesses....My fears are greater for her, my hurt seems greater for her, and my joy when she has joy is multiplied!! I am grateful for the opportunity to show her Jesus. I am prayerful that she will see the Savior in us.  

So, for us, April has brought showers of blessings and many reminders about the seasons in our life being submitted to Him. 

Mary-Peyton’s month started with a celebration for her and we end it celebrating 23 years of marriage with a fun trip! Her year of special moments continues! 

Lord,

I praise You for my marriage. While we celebrate our 23rd year I plead for You to guard it and continue to point us to You. I praise You for the gift of parenthood. With the joy and pain that comes with it. I know, in a way, it mirrors Your joy and pain for Your children. Lead us all to a stronger relationship with You. Amen

MP and a couple of her friends at her birthday celebration!

Faith in what we cannot See

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:1, 3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I lost a precious friend in the fall.  Her life produced so much beauty and her loss is felt by so many.  

My dear friend Laura sent me this picture around that time and thought this was a wonderful picture of Tina’s life and our hope in things we can’t see.

Laura had a beautiful rose bush by her front door. For years it provided beautiful blooms overflowing. In fact, it became so overflowing with blooms that it began to block their front walkway.  

She decided it was time to cut it down and start over.  She asked her husband to cut it down. He did just that and she found another plant that she would put in its place when the season changed.  

As she prepared to plant the new bush - what she found warmed her heart. The leftover roots had produced a beautiful rose bush. It was far more beautiful than the plant she had purchased. In the picture above the plant on the left is the “surprise plant”. The one on the right is what she purchased. Oh what a difference when we allow the Lord’s handiwork to take place. 

The Lord is working even when we can’t see it.  He has promised that He will use all things for good.  He did not promise we would always know and understand.

My friend’s life was beautiful. Her smile - beautiful. Her heart - beautiful. Her love of the Lord - even more beautiful. Her love of her family and friends - beautiful. 

Even though she is in her Heavenly Home - He is weaving a beautiful story. We may see glimpses of this beauty and some won’t be revealed until we get to Heaven.  But, He is not absent and He is working behind the scenes on a story more beautiful than we can imagine. 

Lord,

Thank You for Tina. What a precious child of Yours she was! Thank You for Laura and how she saw Your beauty and it reminded her of my other sweet friend.  Thank You for producing beauty even when we can’t see it. I pray that if it be in Your plan that some of that beauty be revealed to those who ache with her loss. I know her wish would be that hearts would be opened to You and that produces the most beautiful outcome.  

Amen

This post is dedicated to Tina Dupree Chisolm and Laura Owens.

10 Reasons Why Your iPhone makes a Bad Friend

To my middle school daughter - why your iPhone makes a bad friend...

In today’s age it is rare to catch adults or kids without their phone.  The way teens are communicating is via text, Snapchat, insta (is that still cool?), etc... 

I recently asked my daughter to Call a friend.  Her face snarled up like I had asked her to run through the street naked. Her reply, “Mom, no one calls people.” So, she texted back and forth with this friend.  

I sat and thought - her phone is her friend - then I thought about reasons why that phone makes a bad bad friend.

What is a friend? A friend is there for you, a friend supports, encourages, loves, is patient.  

I thought about the love verse - we use it all the time for marriages a but it can equally apply to those friends we chose to be a part of our lives.  

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

1) Your phone is not patient - it doesn’t respect your time when you need to be resting or studying or learning. It buzzes and lights up and wants to be your #1 priority. You must hold yourself accountable to put a limit on that device.  

2) Your phone is not kind - it offers you views of things that you don’t need to see. A simple “click” can allow images to enter your head in a moment and begin to alter your views.  Don’t allow a piece of electronics to change you. There can be good and bad come from a phone - but know that the devil can use this little device to alter your life. 

3) It creates envy - scrolling thru facebook or insta or snap chat - thoughts come in - I wish I looked like that, I wish I had those friends, I wish that was my car, and it goes on and on.  Remind yourself that no one puts their worst picture on social media. This is not the real world. 

4) Your phone loves to boast and be proud - that photo of friends or boyfriends or families is all you see. It is all smiles, it is a perfect world - but, that’s all your phone wants you to see. It isn’t real. It is what that person and your phone wants you to see.  Don’t be drawn into that fallacy. 

5) Your phone can be used to dishonor others and ....

Once it is out there - it doesn’t go away. Your phone may give you courage that you would never have if you had to say it to someone’s face. Guard your comments as if you had to say it to that person out loud. Be a friend to others on social media. 

6) Your phone is easily angered. As much as you try to include others - a phone can be used as a weapon. It creates a myth. It hurts. What is your motive for a post? Is it to fill a void you have - to let people know you have cute friends? To let people know how fun you are? Your posts need to be matched against your motive and if it is out of some insecurity - save the post. It won’t fill that void and will only make the void larger.  

7) Your phone keeps every record of wrongs - as much as you would like to delete it - you may even think it is gone - but once it is in cyber world - it can always come back. Tread lightly and make sure you would be proud of those posts if they came back in the future.

8) Your phone may rejoice in evil. It may be more fun to count likes on instagram and compare that to a person’s worth. Don’t be caught in that trap. Your most valuable friends may have the least likes - because their value is not based on social media - but in one on one interactions with people.  

9) Your phone makes it hard to know the truth.  You trust what you read and see.  But, just know that you should question what you see. Test it against the truth you know.  

10) Your phone does not always protect you - in fact, while there are good things your phone can do, it is much easier for you not to be protected - your location, your appearance, your friends - all make you open to bad consequences if you are not careful.

In all, your phone makes a bad friend. While I don’t see a day we can revert back to the days before they existed, I want to continually remind you of the place a phone should have in your life. It is great to make a Call! Imagine that! It is helpful when we need a quick message! But, it will not be our life. We want friends who enjoy talking! We want friends who don’t need a phone to pass the time. More than that - I want you to be that friend. Be the kind of friend who appreciates someone enough to put down your phone! There are fun things happening out there! Don’t miss the view by looking down!!! 

I said , “YES”!

25 years ago today we were cleaning my parents house in preparation for our family Christmas party.  I was in a dirty sweatshirt and jeans when John asked if I would like to go get some frozen yogurt.  Well, “Of course I do!” 

On our way he said we were going to stop by his house because his family always got to open one gift before Christmas.  Never shying away from opening a gift - that also sounded good to me!  

He handed me the beautiful Limoge box in the picture and began to tell about a life full of riches - not from money - but from a lifetime of love and memories.  This little luggage box would began a journey of a lifetime for us.  Because inside was a beautiful engagement ring.  

It wasn’t like I had imagined it - I had always thought I would get engaged in a fancy restaurant wearing a beautiful dress. But, looking back it was the perfect beginning to a lifetime together.  

Oh what a journey it has been! When you get engaged you can’t grasp marriage. It is hard to imagine “in sickness and in health and for richer or for poorer”! 

Our journey has tested all of that. So thankful that the Lord has been faithful along each twist and turn. When we feel lost and don’t know which way to turn - He has been faithful to direct our path. 

Lord- thank you for that moment 25 years ago when a sweet boy asked me to take this journey. Thank you for constant reminders to turn our marriage and our lives over to You. Thank you for never leaving our side. Thank you for surrounding us with people who pray for our marriage - continue to surround us with those precious people! Thank you for blessing us with blessings that cause us to drink from the saucer because our cup is overflowing. We submit our union to you and pray that it will glorify You.  

Amen

I am weak but I am strong

What started as me helping MP with her memory verse for the week ended up reminding me of a very important promise.

“For when I Am weak, I am strong.” As I was helping her I kept saying “For when I am weak, He is strong.” That is how I’ve always said it. How could I have learned this wrong?! Even MP said, “Well, maybe another verse says that...” So we looked it up.....Nope. Checked 5 other translations. Called John. (Who also learned it the way I learned it). 

So, I started thinking about this change in my mind. When I am weak I am strong? But, He is the one who provides the strength. He is the strong one - not me! When I am weak, I feel weak. The picture on this post is of me trying to finish a race.  The course was not familiar - it was up and down and up and down.  I really wanted to stop.  But, somehow I made it to that finish line.  

I must admit I’ve felt weak lately. Weak physically, weak mentally....just weak. But, it is in  this  weakness in my body & mind - He allowed my spirit to be strengthened. He heard my cries.  He provided the “soul food” and gave me an insatiable hunger to feed my body and mind. So, maybe when I am weak I am strong because I turn to His strength instead of my own. 

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

How thankful I am that He gives me strength. So that when I feel my weakest - I am strong thru Him. I take no credit. It is all Him. Christ’s Power resting on me. I must boast about how small I am so that I can boast about how HUGE He is to me. 

“Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:31‬ ‭NIV‬‬

The enemy loves to whisper in my ear. He finds our weakness. Our “soft spot”. The devil tells me “You really look ugly.” “You think you can do that?! Ha” “No one could love you!” “You should just stop fighting.” He also tries to create “white noise” when I cry out to Jesus so that I can’t hear and remember HIS promises.  

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

All praise to Him who can cause the white noise to halt. He who put me together wants me to hear His Word. He wants me to know that I am strong. I wear His armor. His power is available to me. 

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.””

‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Lord,

Thank you for revealing a verse in a new way this week.  While I feel so weak - I am comforted and encouraged by the strength that comes from You. A strength, a hope, a love that You promised.  Help those who are feeling that same weakness to seek You and to find comfort and strength in Your word.

Amen

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Cleaning from the Inside Out

I walked into the house and saw the table filled with drawers and John's mom going through each drawer and throwing items away and straightening up each drawer.  My face must have shown my bewilderment because John said , "She likes to clean from the inside out."  

That was almost thirty years ago, but as my Bible studies this week have been about matters of the heart - the thought of cleaning from the inside out came back to my mind.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Oh how many times do we look all nice and tidy on the outside, when our insides are struggling with hurt, pain, anger and bitterness.  

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14:30‬ ‭

It may seem to be fine as long as that "stays on the inside". But, we read over and over in the Bible how dangerous it is for us to have these things lingering in our heart.  

When we allow bad feelings to stay in our heart we give the devil the opportunity to use it.  Just as you have a bowl of fruit and one apple slowly begins to ruin the others - the devil can take that hurt and add to it. He can put thoughts in our head that make the hurt and anger grow until we have a beautiful outside but a heart that is being used against us.  

Then I read this verse...

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:21‬ ‭

I'm sure you've read it hundreds of times - just like me.  But, take a moment and let it soak in....

If my heart is full of anger that would be my treasure... 

If my heart is full of hate that would be my treasure...

If my heart is full of bitterness that would be my treasure....

None of those things are a treasure! So, we will ask the Lord to transform our mind and heart to replace these thoughts and repair our heart with traits showing His love and power.

If my heart is full of love - that is a treasure! 

If my heart is full of patience - that is a treasure!

If my heart is full of joy - that is a treasure! 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

So, I am thankful for my precious mother-in-law who years ago showed me the example of cleaning from the inside out. I am thankful that she led her precious son to Christ as they rocked in their rocking chair many years ago. I am thankful that transforming my heart is well within His power - even when I feel powerless.  

Lord,

Thank you for the many verses that You sent to show us the importance of our heart.  As we seek You, help us to see the places that are vulnerable in our heart that need to be turned over to You.  Do not allow anger and bitterness to stay in our heart but replace them with virtues that bring glory to You.  You taught us that everything flows out from our heart - so transform my hurt so that it can be used for good.  I do not have to do this alone - I have You and You have the power to make the changes.  Amen

Family Challenge: Read the fruits of the spirit verse together. Each person say which virtue they think shows up to the world and which one they want to improve with His help.  

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,”

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:22‬ ‭

Lessons by the Ocean

Walking on the beach on the Atlantic Ocean side can be tricky. For those raised going to the Gulf of Mexico, we are accustomed to sand beaches.  The Atlantic side, in contrast, is covered with seashells.  

One of our travelers was all about gathering shells - which caused us to have a good supply of beautiful shells! As we started going through our supply it hit me - look at how they are all unique. Some small. Some large. Some with little holes. Some with larger breaks. All different.  All beautiful!

So, I asked the girls, "With all that the Lord created, why do you think He made so many unique shells? Why couldn't they all just be the same?" Their response warmed my heart and I thought it was worth sharing.

They are examples of us:
1) Unique - even me, an identical twin, am unique and made in a special way.  Learning to appreciate that our differences are not a coincidence- they are His design.  My flaws and strengths were woven together.  I pray for a more grateful heart to appreciate my differences and those of others around me. Also, helping young ones appreciate the different talents and skills that make them special.

2) Broken, but with a purpose.  The pressure of the ocean waves. The heavy feet stepping on top.  Pressure may have caused a break, but we can still use it for good.  In fact, the girls exclaimed, "The broken ones are perfect for necklaces!"  Just as we experience pressure and brokenness- He will use it for His beautiful plan.  We don't understand, but there is a purpose. We aren't broken for no reason - we are refined for His plan.

3) Together we can soften the path for others.  If you've ever stepped on a big shell you know - It Hurts!  But, something about walking on the small crushed shells actually makes it easier to bear.  In the same way, as Christians, we can soften the path for others.  We can come together. We can be transparent. We can pray for them and with them.  We can make the path easier.



Lord,
Your creation is amazing! Thank you for the details that point to Your glory and Your love for us.  Thank You for turning a walk on the beach to a reassurance of Your plan.  May the lessons of the seashells be used to glorify You.
Amen