Being Goal Oriented

This isn't the first time I've been up late walking circles around my house to get those last few steps or calories burned.  When I had a Fitbit it was to get over 10,000 and now with the Apple Watch it is to get all three circles around to goal.  I call myself goal oriented.  My husband has another term....obsessed!! I can't go to bed without those circles showing I met my goal. If I have to miss a day I find myself feeling sad and defeated. I failed. I missed my goal! I missed it by 20 calories! Might as well be 200!

As I was looking back through my workout history I saw that I've only missed my goal about ten times in the past six months. Not too shabby. 

Then I thought, what if my spiritual life had that same resolve. I will NOT go to bed without spending time with the Lord. I will NOT step a foot on my floor without giving Him my day. What would my goal chart look like if I tracked my time with Him?  I imagine it would not be quite as pretty. 

Don't get me wrong - keeping my body healthy is important. But, keeping my heart and soul healthy is more important.  My spiritual growth won't be tracked by my Apple Watch - but by my growth in understanding His word.  Of all the things that I work out to get smaller...my spiritual walk will grow bigger as my worldliness becomes smaller.  

I will not be defined by the world's beauty - but by my beauty in the eyes of Christ.  He doesn't care what dress size I wear.  He doesn't care if I met my circle goals on my watch.  He cares if I was light in a dark world. He cares if I spent time with Him. Allowing His word to wash over my sinful nature.  

So, I will continue to be goal oriented. But, thanks be to Him, my goal is shifting. Allowing Him to transform my body to be more like His. I love the passage below! 

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained. Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:14-21‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Lord,

Thank you for the urge to increase my walk with You as well as my walk on the treadmill. Thank you for pointing me to this passage and reminding me that You alone can transform my body, heart, mind, soul.  Continue to re-align my goals to be more like You.

Amen

Reflections of a Year

Reflecting

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭77:11-12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Most of us will spend this week reflecting on the past year and our hopes for the year ahead.  This has been a tough year, but one that has deepened our faith. I have more wrinkles, more gray hair, a few extra pounds...but, I also have a deeper relationship with my Lord and Savior.  My quiet time yesterday was focused on the many "reflections" of God I've seen this year.  He carried us through health issues this year that began in January and we can hopefully leave as a memory in 2016. He encouraged us when we were discouraged with how difficult it can be to have a daughter in middle school.  He gave us a deeper desire to learn and study His word to have a Biblical world view. Even with all of this, I still feel that there are so many reflections that I have yet to see. That gives me much hope for the upcoming year. My focus is in making my reflection more beautiful to Him....

What am I reflecting? 

When I look in the mirror do I see a reflection of Him or of the world? The worldly part of me reflects my jealousy, my urge to be liked, my earthly desires. I pray my reflection continues to evolve into Him. That even with the struggles - you will see Him instead of me.  Looking past the wrinkles to appreciate that with the wrinkles also came an increased knowledge of my faith. That I will be able to reflect back on my growth and look forward to an even "prettier" reflection next year.

Who am I reflecting? 

I want to reflect transparency. With transparency also comes vulnerability. Allowing others to see my pain and hurt. Allowing others to see the One that gives me strength. Any blessing has come from Him. The heartbreak is made easier thru Him. When I look in the mirror - I want my reflection to be Him.  I still see too much of me and my hope is in the coming year that reflection continues to change.  

As we reflect on this year, I am grateful for the many opportunities to deepen my Christian walk. I am grateful that while we aren't big on "resolutions" that we all committed to continuing to change our reflection. 

Lord,

I have seen many of Your faces this year. Comforter, protector, encourager, friend, giver of grace. You have walked with us, You have carried us. You have protected us. You have supplied our needs. You have calmed our hearts. You have deepened our desire for You. You have opened our minds to learn. You have never left us. We praise You for this year. We pray that we will become a better reflection of You in the upcoming year. 

Amen

Commitments

Rethinking Commitments

I'm tired. Don't feel sorry for me. Most of my tired comes from "elective" activities. Commitments that I signed up for freely and under maybe just the slightest amount of guilt. But, nevertheless, they are things I signed up for. 

A full time job, a family, numerous volunteer organizations and I'm tired.  Then he (a colleague) said, "I think we need to reset our commitments." What?!?!?!? Are you kidding me? Do you know I am running on about 3 hours sleep. Do you know I got up an hour early to help at my child's school? Do you know that my husband's love language is quality time and I have not been able to spend any with him in five days?! Do you know that I have a 5:30 AM flight in the morning which means another three hours of sleep....my mind flooded with all of the clever remarks that I could say....I will show him...rethink my commitments my foot (hopefully your mom taught you what that means!)...I will make you think - rethink your commitments. Ha!

Then, by His grace, I thought. First, let me review what my commitments have been. I reviewed the last six weeks and I saw where, not because I had been lazy or neglectful - but just have had several unforeseen events come up, I began to see why he felt I was elsewhere. Next, I stopped to pray. Help me to immediately turn this over to You. Quiet my mouth and help me to speak in kindness. Do not allow this small event to steal my joy for this day you have given me. 

Our talk went fine and it was clear that I had done a poor job communicating events that were likely to be getting in the way of our scheduled time. I had under communicated and over committed.  (An issue that can cause great problems if you long to make everyone around you happy).

As we are nearing the end of 2016, are you over committed and under communicating with our Savior? He can sometimes be the easy target for busy schedules.  

I challenge you , as I plan to do, to reset the communication with the Savior. Not a New Year's resolution , but a New You resolution! For there is no better way to live a life of peace than one committed to your communication with Him. Give your day to Him. Give your life to Him. Even if someone tries to steal your joy, go back and recommit it to Him. 

I mentioned my 5:30 AM flight, meant alarm clock set at 2:50 AM. But, even still, I gave my first moments to Him. Reading my devotion for the day and turning my day and my life into His hands. 

Lord,

You made me in your perfect way. You knew that I would want those around me to be happy. You also knew that would mean I would be tempted to say "Yes" far too many times. You've been gracious to show me what my loved ones need to feel my love. I thank You for the reminder to reset my commitments. My first commitment is to You. I commit my days to You. You know I will need reminding from time to time. Remind me that my joy rests in You and is not up for the taking. Quieten my heart and mind when I begin to feel my joy is at risk. It is Yours.    Amen

“Let your heart therefore be wholly true to the Lord our God, walking in his statutes and keeping his commandments, as at this day."”

‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭8:61‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Above The Clouds

"To him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever. who by his understanding made the heavens, His love endures forever. who spread out the earth upon the waters, His love endures forever. who made the great lights— His love endures forever. the sun to govern the day, His love endures forever. the moon and stars to govern the night; His love endures forever.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭136:4-9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

On a recent flight, I looked out the plane window and saw this beautiful sight out my window.  We were flying above the clouds. 

As childish as it sounds, since I lost my mom I love to fly. When we get above the clouds I feel closer to her. Almost like I am closer to heaven. 

On this flight, I was also reminded that if I can stay focused above the clouds - His light shines brighter. 

This was a very cloudy day on the ground. But look at how beautiful it is above the clouds. A bright and beautiful day. Bright with His creation - but hidden from the ground by this layer of clouds.

When I make the decision to not focus on the cloud - but to focus on the Son - I shine brighter. I could focus on what is wrong - OR - I can stay focused on what He has done for me by providing His Son. 

I love the word play with both the sun and the Son being wonderful gifts from God. Especially during the holiday season where we celebrate the birth of our Savior. I am especially grateful for this gift. 

Lord,

When my focus shifts to the clouds - help me refocus to your Son. The clouds will come and go - but your Son will not change. It reminds me of Your promise in James that every good and perfect gift is coming down from You and there is no change or variation in You. You promise that there will be clouds. But, you also promise that You are there. On the ground it may feel like the sun has disappeared on the cloudy days - but if we shift our focus above the clouds - we see that You are still there. Ever faithful. Ever constant. Never changing. Thank you for the gift of Your Son. 

Amen

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:17‬ ‭ESV

Living Water

I look outside and see droopy flowers and brown crunchy leaves. Plants and trees in need of rain. As I was walking through the back yard and hearing my feet crunch the brittle leaves, I thought of one of my favorite passages...

“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭42:1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

My dad just returned from a deer hunting trip. Not one deer was seen. Green fields were brown. Deer were in search of water. I have been through seasons when I felt far away from God and His plan. But, I am thankful for His ever present Spirit that tugs at my heart and mind. Drawing me to His word. Longing to fill my heart with the much needed bread of life. 

When I get too busy for my relationship and time with the Lord, my spirit begins to feel like those leaves. Brittle and broken. Once healthy, vibrant and a picture of God's glory - when I go "it" alone - I feel the world creep in. I begin to allow selfishness, pride, fear and anger to take over my once healthy "leaf". 

But, how thankful that unlike the leaves that have fallen from the drought - never to be green again- we have a beautiful option. Return to the living water. Just as the passage says the deer pants for the water - we can return. Whether it has been one day, one week, one year, our Lord can turn that brittleness into beauty. 

The One that formed you longs for you to seek Him.  I love how as I read His word my heart is restored. His promises bring me hope. His promises bring me life. I will soak up His word. I will draw out each bit of understanding. I will guard my heart against growing bitter and brittle. 

Lord,

 May we seek to transform our hearts  and to be that picture of love that You called us to be. Continue to give me a desire to seek Your word and Your to plan for my life. Soften brittle hearts. May the only danger of fire during the drought be a fire for You. May these words be seen by someone who can be drawn closer to You and allow You to restore any brittleness that this world has caused. 

Amen

Seek First

Leaving church this Sunday we ran into one of our pastors and his wife.  We had all attended a wedding the night before and couldn't help but talk about how special it was to observe the union of two humble Christians.  I had even asked the mothers of the bride and groom what recipe they followed to raise their children.

During the wedding they had a special prayer time.  I prayed with my hand on Mary-Peyton that she might have that kind of relationship and that the Lord is working in the heart of a young man that one day will fully submit to the Lord. I also prayed that her friendships would also bring glory to God.  That the Lord would stir hearts to bring glory to Him in all things.  While I know her daddy was praying a similar prayer, we joked that his prayer added....in a very long time (for her mate!) ha!

So, back to Sunday, our pastor asked her to commit all of her relationships to Matthew 6:33.

We got in the car and she pulled up the verse...
"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matt 6:33
As a mom, I have to add in the next verse...
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matt 6:34

Yes, we've had a rough year, but the Lord's plan is at work.  Our responsibility as Christians is to seek Him first.  So, we came up with these ways we can commit our day to Him.

Seek first....when you feel alone.
Seek first...when you make a decision.
Seek first...about your friendships.
Seek first....when you are hurt.
Seek first....when you receive a blessing.
Seek first...when you have let someone down.
Seek first...when you are afraid.
Seek first...when you are anxious.
In all things....Seek first!

By seeking Him first, we commit to Him our anxiety and our fears. Middle school can be tough - but the Lord is there and His plan is at work.

Lord,
May we seek You first in each situation.  Seeking to live for Youe en when we don't understand.  We lift up the families that are struggling and ask you to encourage them to not grow weary in the day to day.  May these two words transform our day to day motions into eternal growth.  Amen

A Broken Heart

We were eating dinner when she said it. At first I tried to ignore it. Surely I had misunderstood what she said. Surely my precious child did not feel this way. I looked at John - he had heard it too. We tried to move on....but, I kept hearing it over and over again in my head.  It wasn't until the next day that I had the courage to ask her if I had heard correctly.

Last night, did you say "Your heart was broken?" She replied, "Yes, I did." "Can you tell me what you meant?" She went on to explain ,"Mom, when you get left out and ignored so many times your heart stops feeling it." 

We were driving at the time - her in the back seat and John driving. I looked at him and noticed a tear running down his face.  My head dropped. Not wanting her to know how our hearts had just broken too we changed the subject. 

This year has been one of the most challenging years of being a parent. What I wouldn't give to go back to those sweet times when I was in control. But, she is growing up and heart ache is part of our fallen world. 

We've discussed many times what we can learn from these times and the biggest lesson so far is...this is temporary.  Whether it be temporary while you are in the 7th grade or temporary until you get to high school or maybe even temporary for much longer - this is still temporary. But, some times it feels eternal. How ironic - what we need to stay focused on is the eternal and we feel pressure to focus on this temporary time.

I don't want to minimize her pain - it does hurt to be left out. It hurts her and quite frankly as a mom it can challenge my faith. But, I do not want to display a sinful response to this pain. We will not repay mean spiritedness with our own mean spirit. We will look for opportunities to see who might be true and loyal. We will do our best to be a friend. 

We've had many precious conversations about why we think God has placed us in this spot. While we may not find the answer on earth - we will seek to bring Him glory thru this trial. We will stay focused on the eternal not the temporary. We will be mindful that each of us falls short of His glory and we are no better than those who ignore us.  We have fallen short many times as friends. If our purpose is to bring Him glory - then He has placed us in this spot to do just that.  It isn't the "spot" we had asked for. We had prayed for a circle of friends who would love and support each other. We had asked to be pointed to the right places - we know He heard our prayer. Then, with faith we believe that while this does not look like the answer - it actually is. We will bring You glory where we are - even when we don't understand. Your plan is bigger than our broken heart. Your plan is better than my broken heart. (And hers). Your plan is for my good (and hers). I will trust in You.

We will put on the armor of God and stay true to who we are even when His armor may be hiding a broken heart.  We will allow Him to mend this broken heart. We will continue to seek His guidance for a circle of friends.  We know that many are struggling with this very thing right now. 

Sometimes it is just a good reminder of “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭

Lord,

Parenting is the hardest job you have give me so far. Help me to have a Christian response when my child is hurt. Help me to know what to say to get her thru these years. Be preparing the hearts of other girls who are seeking true friends. Open their hearts and eyes to those around them. Forgive us when we fail as a friend. Help us to use that to learn and grow and to exalt You even in our friendships. Urge us to continue to lay our broken hearts at Your feet and allow You to mend them. 

Amen