Better Over Bitter

I have not written for my blog in a long time.  Our life over the past year has been going thru changes and I was really struggling. Struggling with the stress. Struggling to hear His voice. Struggling in general.  I would start to write and then I would feel like my words were being scrambled and I decided that a season of quiet – a season of seeking – a season of reflection and prayer were more important for me and my family than My voice.

Having a teenage daughter today is hard.  The pressures they face are far different than what I faced growing up.  Most of it is made more prominent by social media.  But, our daughter was facing some social drama.  I was under extreme stress and my work/life balance seemed thrown for a loop.  My husband was struggling with how to help us both – but days were LONG.  I felt bitterness trying to creep into my heart.  Bitter that my husband didn’t get it. Bitter that my daughter was dealing with such hurt. Bitter that people I thought were my friends disappeared.  Bitter….

Then I remembered a Sunday School teacher from years ago told me that she would never put a fish symbol (for Christian) or her church sticker on the back of her car.  She tended to suffer from mild road rage and she didn’t want her church or her faith to be diminished because of her actions.  That image came back to me so vividly.  When we announce to the world that we are a Christian – the world expects BETTER. 

In reality, we all know that expecting BETTER from Christians can be a slippery slope at best.  We live in a fallen creation and the only thing we can be certain of is that we are all sinners and don’t deserve the grace we receive.  But, it is easy to see how people could think and expect “us” to be Better.  You want to see the fruits of the spirit in other people.  But, I am also reminded of the thousands of times where someone may have been expecting to see them in me – and I failed.  My expectation for the Better can quickly lead to Bitter when I’m let down.  

As I’ve been quiet and searching for healing I’ve been reminded that His word shows us how to forgo the Bitter for Better:

1. Better to Forgive Others – “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Col 3:13
2. Better to Give Thanks for the Gift of Grace – “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God – Not by works so that no one can boast.” Eph 2: 8-9
3. Better to be intentional about what my faith & my families faith look like “Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.” Matthew 7:20
4. Better to keep seeking His truth even thru the noise. He is faithful.  “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jer 29:13

I am thankful for my time of quiet.  I am thankful for forgiveness and the burden that lifts from my shoulders in the process.  I am also thankful that fish sticker, church sticker or NOT – we can move from bitter to BETTER with His help.  

Lord,

I thank You for being faithful each and every day even if I couldn’t hear You.  You never left our side.  I pray that You will help me to replace any bitterness with Your promise.  I fail each day and I can’t expect others to be perfect.  I thank You for healing my heart and any scars left behind are reminders that point straight to You.  May we strive to produce good fruit. 

Amen

Change The Channel

I spend a lot of my life in my car.  A couple of weeks ago I was driving along listening to the radio.   Hating the song that was on!!!! I was driving along thinking ‘“Wow, what an awful song! I don’t like this song!!” When it hit me - you control the song! Turn the channel!! I know that may sound silly, but I was literally listening to something I hated forgetting the control was up to me. So, guess what....I changed the channel and found something I liked.

Last year I had a LOT of voices in my head. Unhealthy people telling me I wasn’t good - telling me I wasn’t good at my job - I wasn’t a good friend - I wasn’t a good mom - I wasn’t a good wife - I wasn’t slim enough - I wasn’t smart enough - I wasn’t....

I let those voices be amplified by Satan. He knows my desire to please and my desire for approval. He began to repeat those voices over and over - in fact, long after the people stopped - he was still busy filling my mind with everything I wasn’t.  I believed it. I let it seep into my mind and my heart until all I wanted to do was hide and cry.

Then, two weeks ago, I remembered, I control what station I listen to. I don’t have to be filled with lies.  While I am no where close to perfect - I know that I am not what those voices said I was.  

So, how am I prevent those voices from becoming my truth? 

When you hear the voice - does it match who God says you are? For me, it wasn’t a match. 

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”

Psalm 119:105 NIV

Pray for confirmation that the voice you hear is not the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will always line up to God’s Word. It may be a painful message - but it is for your good - not to harm your spirit.

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

Hebrews 4:12 

If these voices are coming from the same people - evaluate your ability to remove yourself from that person or group? 

“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

Psalm 32:7 NIV

There is one voice that won’t fill us with lies. Our Lord and Savior. If you’ve been on the wrong station like me - turn the channel!!