Last night, did you say "Your heart was broken?" She replied, "Yes, I did." "Can you tell me what you meant?" She went on to explain ,"Mom, when you get left out and ignored so many times your heart stops feeling it."
We were driving at the time - her in the back seat and John driving. I looked at him and noticed a tear running down his face. My head dropped. Not wanting her to know how our hearts had just broken too we changed the subject.
This year has been one of the most challenging years of being a parent. What I wouldn't give to go back to those sweet times when I was in control. But, she is growing up and heart ache is part of our fallen world.
We've discussed many times what we can learn from these times and the biggest lesson so far is...this is temporary. Whether it be temporary while you are in the 7th grade or temporary until you get to high school or maybe even temporary for much longer - this is still temporary. But, some times it feels eternal. How ironic - what we need to stay focused on is the eternal and we feel pressure to focus on this temporary time.
I don't want to minimize her pain - it does hurt to be left out. It hurts her and quite frankly as a mom it can challenge my faith. But, I do not want to display a sinful response to this pain. We will not repay mean spiritedness with our own mean spirit. We will look for opportunities to see who might be true and loyal. We will do our best to be a friend.
We've had many precious conversations about why we think God has placed us in this spot. While we may not find the answer on earth - we will seek to bring Him glory thru this trial. We will stay focused on the eternal not the temporary. We will be mindful that each of us falls short of His glory and we are no better than those who ignore us. We have fallen short many times as friends. If our purpose is to bring Him glory - then He has placed us in this spot to do just that. It isn't the "spot" we had asked for. We had prayed for a circle of friends who would love and support each other. We had asked to be pointed to the right places - we know He heard our prayer. Then, with faith we believe that while this does not look like the answer - it actually is. We will bring You glory where we are - even when we don't understand. Your plan is bigger than our broken heart. Your plan is better than my broken heart. (And hers). Your plan is for my good (and hers). I will trust in You.
We will put on the armor of God and stay true to who we are even when His armor may be hiding a broken heart. We will allow Him to mend this broken heart. We will continue to seek His guidance for a circle of friends. We know that many are struggling with this very thing right now.
Sometimes it is just a good reminder of “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
Lord,
Parenting is the hardest job you have give me so far. Help me to have a Christian response when my child is hurt. Help me to know what to say to get her thru these years. Be preparing the hearts of other girls who are seeking true friends. Open their hearts and eyes to those around them. Forgive us when we fail as a friend. Help us to use that to learn and grow and to exalt You even in our friendships. Urge us to continue to lay our broken hearts at Your feet and allow You to mend them.
Amen
